2024: Our Beautiful Kinky Journey
Words are stepping stones toward self-acceptance
If there's one thing I've learned from years of writing about kink, it’s people LOVE novelty. Especially when it comes to sex. Everyone is voraciously hungry for new ideas, and are far more open than you might think to trying out new experiences.
Sex becomes stale and mediocre when we accidentally happen upon what we consider to be the "right" way to do it. We play safe, and find ourselves repeating the same bedroom routines. Yet we intuitively know sex should be a journey of perpetual discovery and adventure. Perhaps that’s why you subscribed to these messages, because you appreciate the importance of making your reality sexually more interesting.
Having personally heard the experiences of countless kinky individuals, I’ve come to understand the beautiful journey towards self-acceptance we all are travelling. Sometimes the way ahead is not easy, involving leaps of faith from one stepping stone to the next. Nevertheless, we see the path stretch onwards, receding and disappearing into the distance, and feel compelled to follow it.
It begins with revelation, when some become aware that there’s more to sex than just intercourse. We discover something (like spanking) is a thing, and it makes us feel strange, or excited, or gooey inside. It might be one seminal experience, or the accumulated effect of reading, watching, or imagining.
Then there is fascination. We're curious, we want to know more. We consciously seek content that satisfy those heady initial feelings, and when opportunities arise to experience it in person, we don't recoil from them, but embrace them.
Years pass, and we enter the phase of consolidation. By now, we've seen (and read) about so many spankings it all seems so familiar. But we haven't quite shaken that early feeling that our unconventional sexual interest might be weird and wrong.
Until finally, comes acceptance. When spanking feels like more than something you just do, it's something you are.
It brings me great pleasure to know folks with otherwise quite vanilla feeds choose to follow me. It’s a reflection that for some, whilst their kinky interests may lie dormant, they are not forgotten. They aspire to explore new aspects of their sexuality as their confidence grows. It is important to keep reading, and keep the flame inside alive, each post helping to acknowledge this shrouded aspect of themselves still matters, and should not ever be denied.
Samuel Johnson wisely once said, people need more reminders than lessons. I think that’s good advice. So for this post, I won’t teach, but offer a few reminders of what I’ve written this year. An opportunity for long-time followers to reminisce, and newcomers to discover some genuine treats.
Stories
Storytelling is an essential aspect of the human condition, through it we can vicariously feel new experiences through the eyes of others. This year, I posted six stories, and if they share a common theme, it’s the notion of embarking on a journey.
Fire is about the struggle for self-acceptance, and what might happen if something happened that suddenly swept our self-imposed obstacles away.
First Date is also a story about the removal of inhibitions, in the early heady days of after meeting someone new.
Forking Paths explores how we choose our own direction, to go on the journey our heart desires.
Moral Philosophy is a long-form 2-part story that explores how technology estranges us, yet might also connect us with others.
My Halloween story was All Must Travel, which takes the notion of the journey of erotic self-discovery, and gives it a darkly gothic metaphysical twist.
Finally, my personal favourite story was also the longest, the 3-part Threesome with the Governess, a story about what might happen later in our journeys, when we have the confidence to explore beyond our comfort zones.
Did any of these stories especially resonate with you? Leave your thoughts in the comments, those reading this post would love to hear them!
Explorations
As well as stories, I also wrote several posts about getting to know our inner erotic nature.
I wrote about The Two Yearnings, the need to be punished, and the craving to be pleasured.
Why Erotica Matters explains why sexual content is more than just mere titillation, and the vital role erotica has in inspiring, teaching, and challenging us.
Learning to Love Sexual Neediness explains the difference between two sexual yearnings that are often confused, being horny and being needy.
The Spaces Between The Spanks explores the effective use of pauses and silence in kinky play.
The Proper Way to Use The Hairbrush was the most popular post I wrote this year, it seems lots of folks enjoy using them for much more than just brushing hair.
And finally, The Nature of Naughtiness discusses why we find being naughty much more arousing than being nice.
Explanations
I believe an essential part of our ongoing journey is understanding why things are the way they are. Without this knowledge things can seem weird and strange, but once we do understand, we are empowered.
This year I wrote two articles on the science of spanking, the first explained how we perceive pain, and a rather baffling phenomenon: how impacts can feel hot when the temperature of the skin is unchanged.
The second post explored the fascinating science of sensations. Only recently have scientific discoveries begun to explain the intricate complexities that underlie our magical sense of touch - and why sex is so uniquely pleasurable.
Both of these posts are also available as podcasts!
Wishing you a transformative new year
Do you ever find yourself turning your own volume down, just so you avoid disturbing those nearby? Or are you bold enough to make noise, and quite happy to be noticed?
This year, what if you did actually risk being noticed? You could write, and tell others what about your hopes and dreams and fantasies. You could tell those close to you how you really felt, and invite them deeper into your life.
A new year doesn’t mean you have to reinvent yourself into someone radically new. Most of us don’t need any grand resolutions. Chances are, you’re perfectly fine, just as you are. But you may have a nagging feeling of not being truly satisfied, the sense you might be hiding what makes you interesting.
If that’s true, what if your new year goal was to become the most authentic version of yourself? Why if you stopped censoring yourself? If you stopped pretending to be boring, just to fit in? What if you gave yourself permission to truly express yourself?
I wrote a very personal post about finding the courage to be seen, and how speaking up is the only way to discover and connect with our own tribe.
So, this coming year, why not make it a habit to post an opinion publicly? You could practice being in situations where you might feel judged. Over time it will desensitise you to self-criticism and the anxiety of what others think about you. On Substack you have the perfect medium to speak up, and let others hear your own authentic voice.
Remember, your kink doesn’t make you weird, it makes you deeply fascinating, I hope in the coming year it will bring you satisfaction and enjoyment.
Wishing you the boldness to create wonderful experiences and treasured memories in the brave new world of 2025!
Thank you for all your beautiful stories and posts this year (and every year). I think endeavouring to be more authentic rather than trying to change fundamentally is a nice way to approach the new year. Though I'm not entirely sure what's underneath all the layers that I've constructed to make myself seem more normal because they've become just part of me! But I do know it's someone who craves much more naughtiness in many forms. Hopefully some of that will emerge a bit more this year.