The Two Yearnings
The need to be punished and the need to be pleasured
Anyone who's been spanked will recognise the feeling. The moment when you sense something other than the hot sting that radiates across your cheeks. It might begin with the cool tickle of air between your legs. As you squirm, and your thighs drift apart, exposing every detail of your most intimate places, you realise you’re not just in the perfect position to be punished, but the perfect position to be pleasured too.
You begin to be aware of two distinct longings lighting up your mind, spiralling around each other like a double helix of sparks.
One is the desire for discipline, the inner voice that pleads: “Please Be Strict With Me”. The one that yearns to surrender control in exchange for certainty, and the blessed liberty of a worry-free mind. It’s the side of you that wants to be spanked, no matter how sore or humiliating that predicament might be.
There’s also another desire burning inside you, the one that yearns for sensual pleasure. The one that isn’t numbed by a spanking, but is aroused and excited instead. It’s the voice inside that desperately begs: “Please, I Need to be Touched”. It’s the urge to experience physical euphoria, to feel every bit of joy your body can generate, until you lie exhausted, spent, and breathless.
Isn’t it interesting how each whack received satisfies a small part of the need to be punished, yet also increases the latent need to be pleasured? You’ve surely felt it, a familiar heat building between your legs, but it's a different kind of warmth from the stingy glow inflicted by a spanking. It's as if every whack increases your desire to be touched. The need for Discipline fueling the need for Pleasure.
Perhaps, if you've been a very good girl, and taken your spanking with grateful acceptance, your disciplinarian might slip their hand between your legs and grasp you tight, letting you rock and squirm against their fingers as they smack your bottom hard.
Or maybe, if they’re using a hairbrush, they might slide its handle between your legs, filling and stretching you, before moving it slowly in and out. They'd take great delight in watching your wetness glisten on the handle, and greatly enjoy how it makes your cute little bottom hole wink and quiver.
Do you find that thought exciting? Imagining being wanked by your disciplinarian’s probing fingers, or stretched by their spanking brush?
They won’t let you come, of course. An expert spanker knows it’s important to keep the flame of desire burning bright, because that keeps the desire for discipline strong too. If they sense you’re getting too close to coming, they’ll cease touching and focus on spanking you thoroughly, so they can let that yearning for release build up again.
Do you see how a good spanking plays with both longings, balancing the desire to be spanked, with the desire to be touched? I’m often asked how long a spanking should be, and here’s one possible answer: it should continue until the desire for discipline is sated, just before the recipient’s bottom is uncomfortably sore and the desire to be pleasured becomes a craving.
Have you ever thought why those who've been spanked are often sent to stand with their hands on their heads, or folded behind their backs, well out of trouble? The outcome of a spanking isn’t just a sore bottom, the recipient will also enjoy the psychological satisfaction that comes from having their desire for discipline satisfied. They deserve a quiet period of contemplation to appreciate that, without obliterating that feeling by playing with themselves.
Hence whilst the desire for discipline may be sated, the complementary desire for pleasure will inevitably be approaching its peak. It is not uncommon for those recently spanked to display their new pink cheeks with dripping slits and painfully stiff cocks. Yet the inability to do anything to relieve themselves makes their plight even more arousing, only emphasising the control they’ve consented to obey.
With the desire for punishment satisfied, disciplinarians know the power of controlling their partner’s remaining desire for pleasure, how to nurture it and let it grow. It is an important part of the disciplinary dynamic that the recipient is reminded who’s in charge, and that they certainly won’t be allowed any sexual pleasure unless they’re given explicit permission.
And when the time is right, maybe the disciplinarian will instruct their charge to masturbate slowly as they supervise closely. Or perhaps they’ll provide the mercy of a Coming Chair, so those on the edge can be sent discreetly tumbling over the brink without any unseemly lewdness.
Pleasure fuels the need for Discipline too
It’s clear then that discipline fuels arousal, but what I find so fascinating about these two longings is how they work in the opposite way too.
I recently asked on Twitter/X: “As you masturbate, do you feel you are more deserving of a good hard spanking, or less?”
The overwhelming majority of responses said yes, they did feel they deserved a spanking more when they were masturbating. This seems to confirm what I’d already heard through my own conversations, that when a girl masturbates she satisfies her desire for sensual pleasure, but every rub increases her own yearning to be spanked.
You can see this for yourself if you tell someone to play with themselves whilst you have a spanking implement in your hands — quite regardless of whether you actually end up applying it to their bottom. Just watch how readily they rub when a cane is swished intimidatingly through the air. Even just the threat of a spanking can make potential spankees super eager to please.
From talking to those who like spanking, it seems quite common to fantasise about being punished whilst masturbating. It’s as if self-pleasure makes the desire for discipline flare deep inside them, like air blown across glowing embers. It’s an adorable irony that so many love to touch themselves whilst fantasising about being punished for touching themselves.
How many times have you chided yourself for being a "naughty girl" or “naughty boy” as you've touched yourself? I bet you can remember feeling the strong - almost inexplicable - conviction when playing that what you really deserve right now is a good hard spanking.
Perhaps this is why it's so satisfying to masturbate whilst reading spanking stories. Every successive stimulating touch increases your desire for discipline, and the subject matter only amplifies that yearning further. As the reader becomes immersed within the story, their mind will be awash with thoughts of strict rules and spanking consequences.
Because it's so easy to be naughty, isn't it? To let your hand slip into the warm haven of your panties. To slide over the smooth shaved curve of your mound, until your fingertips encounter that throbby little bump. Such a naughty girl, to have your fingers so deep in your panties, rubbing up and down your bare little slit, imagining how sore your poor bottom would be if you got caught. That kind of naughtiness deserves a good hard spanking for sure.
I know some readers love to satisfy their growing need for punishment by spanking themselves as they read. I know some even attempt to sate both longings, alternating between smacks and impaling themselves on the handle of their own hairbrush. A dozen ins-and-outs, followed by a dozen hard stingy spanks — until their fantasy finally concludes with one final deep climactic thrust.
Isn’t it wonderful how when you play these two distinct desires seem to fuel each other? That the closer you get to the brink of climaxing, the greater your need to be spanked becomes, until it’s like two separate fires blazing inside.
No wonder thinking about spankings makes so many come so hard.
New Year Encouragement
As this is my first post of 2024, I want to wish everyone the boldness to create wonderful experiences and treasured memories this year!
Do you ever find yourself turning your own volume down, just so you avoid disturbing those nearby? Or are you already bold enough to make noise, and quite happy to be noticed?
This year, what if you did actually risk being noticed? You could write, and tell others what about your hopes and dreams and fantasies. You could tell those close to you how you really felt, and invite them deeper into your life.
A new year doesn’t mean you have to reinvent yourself into someone new. Most of us don’t need any grand resolutions, really. Chances are, you’re perfectly fine already. But if you do have a nagging feeling of not really being satisfied, you might be hiding what makes you interesting.
If that’s true, what if your goal was to become the most authentic version of yourself? Why if you stopped censoring yourself? If you stopped pretending to be boring, just to fit in? What if you gave yourself permission to truly express yourself?
Remember, your kink doesn’t make you weird, it makes you deeply fascinating, I hope your uniquely interesting sexuality will bring you tremendous enjoyment this year.
The Naughtiest of Recent Posts
Previous issue (in case you missed it)
The Pleasure of Panty Stuffing
Panty stuffing is more than just a sordid violation. It almost feels like a perversion of purpose, having something that should be protecting your intimate hole crudely shoved deep inside it instead. To be filled with your own panties is to be penetrated roughly. It's not like a finger or a cock that slides in smoothly, skin on flesh. The seams and textu…
Until Next Time!
Huge thanks once again to my lovely readers for contributing such wonderful comments and questions, and recommending what I’ve written to others. And if this post has fired your desire to anonymously ask a question of your own, you’re very welcome to do so here.
play safe, and stay curious!
I love this post and especially appreciate your New Year encouragement!