Why Erotica Matters
We need erotica to inspire, and teach, and challenge us
Erotica matters because it widens our horizons. At their best, art and stories and films can take us beyond our own personal experiences. They can be an antidote to sexual complacency, they can teach us new things about our sexuality, and that of our partners too.
And if you like spanking, chances are you need no convincing as to just how hot teaching can be.
Erotic art has existed ever since human beings began to write and draw. It has been part of our culture because art is an expression of everything the human mind can imagine. Sex manuals like The Perfumed Garden or the Kama Sutra weren’t pornography, they were atlases of sexual possibilities — of sexual health, positions, emotions, and civility. These were not sordid works of lowbrow filth, their intended audiences were the elite, those able to read. They knew good sex made people behave better, and less like bandits who took what they wanted to sate their base needs. Good sex made good people, and made society stronger too.
Values matter, but variety and novelty are equally important. Just think of how streaming companies like Netflix are continually adding fresh content. Your sex life should be equally dynamic. Erotica exists to remind us of the richness of sexuality, and awaken new fantasies. Without its gentle prompting, hidden sides of us that could bring us so much pleasure might remain dormant forever.
Unfortunately most filmed erotica rarely shows us anything new. Most porn is shot quite quickly, with little time to invest much imagination or creativity. It's also legitimately challenging to convey the emotional and erotic intensity of sex, so most filmed porn settles for being titillating rather than inspiring. Most sex scenes feel derivative and cliched as a result.
Mainstream TV and movies, with more time for scripts, production, and story arcs, are rarely any better. Especially when kinky activities are portrayed. When they do show spankings, they tend to be depicted as punishments, or episodes of domestic abuse, or a lazy way of showing a character has deep psychological flaws. I suspect this stems from censorship and production rules, that in our modern messed-up world, it's more permissible to show violence than eroticism.
It's such a shame to see something that's special to so many of us depicted as cruel and moody floggings. Especially as most who enjoy kink have quite a different perspective — that spankings are a form of intimate adult playfulness. But depicting sex joyfully is strangely controversial, and so rarely shown on mainstream screens.
But I’d love to see more spanking on screen, not just because I'd enjoy watching it, but because it would help normalise an unfairly maligned activity. Desires that go unseen breed guilt in those who covertly enjoy them, contributing to feelings of being perverted and weird.
Visibility leads to understanding, revealing aspects that might not be obvious, or which challenge existing preconceptions — like the widely held belief that spanking is the infliction of pain as a means of punishment.
Misconceptions aren’t corrected by lectures though, only when more accurate narratives arrive to take their place. It would be wonderful if audiences saw how both givers and recipients of spankings find it pleasurable, and the many different ways it brings them satisfaction. They’ll see examples where those participating were neither sadists or masochists, but just lovers, having fun.
For a lot of people, sexual enjoyment is still synonymous with genital penetration, because spanking and other kinky activities that involve different kinds of sensual pleasure are rarely seen. Even when they are shown, they can appear counter-intuitive, as they involve aspects that aren’t normally considered sexy, such as impacts that mark the skin, control and obedience, and chastity and denial.
But instead of portraying kink as complicated, too often it’s just shown through lazy cliches. Like where the discovery of a flogger in character’s home prompts a snigger, and knowing glances acknowledging the owner’s obvious sexual deviance. Or if spanking is shown, it’s relegated to mere foreplay, a prelude of a few smacks before the 'main' sexual event, the bit when the emotive music swells.
It would be lovely if viewers could see spanking scenes that were caring and nurturing rather than just obviously aggressive. They could see for themselves that kinky relationships are just as loving as any other. It’s unfair to paint minority sexual activities as being motivated by gratification rather than love, and feeds the prejudice that kinky folk are weird sex predators who prey on the young and vulnerable.
Accurate portrayals of kink would be especially helpful in showing how submissive individuals are truly in charge of what happens to their bodies, and what informed consent looks like. I think everyone would benefit from more depictions like that.
Social anxieties are such powerful inhibitors because we're afraid if we break society's taboos we'll be dreadfully ostracised. Sexual confidence comes from realising that society's norms are just an average, and it's OK to be an outlier — and the very best way of determining those norms is through observing the sexual behaviour of others. We are, at heart, a species of mimics.
Erotica allows us to learn in safety of our our imagination, and assess what we see through the lens of our own preferences and values. Over time we come to appreciate that just because things are rarely seen, or even talked about in public, doesn’t make them weird or wrong. Erotic material allows us to ethically watch others without violating the privacy of anyone else.
I've learnt a lot from visual erotica and erotic writers, they've introduced me to new ideas, and at times it’s felt they’ve given me permission to push the envelope and try out new things. Sex educators often talk about how our sexuality is an ongoing interplay between arousal and inhibition, like a car’s accelerator and brake. Erotica assists us by exciting us with new possibilities, and daring us to push past our natural inhibitions, so we might try being a little more adventurous.
Which is why erotic stories have always had a special allure for me. Stories are told in a different sensual language, one that's so difficult to depict visually through a camera and the proxies of models. Only the written word can transport us vicariously behind the eyes of others, and enable us to witness their thoughts.
Stories don't just tell us what happens, they show our minds how it feels. We need great erotica that inspires and teaches, and challenges us to imagine more.
Speaking of erotic inspirations, are you ready to try imagining something new?
Below is a short little story, imagine yourself inside it.
Pull Down Your Panties
A short story
Her very favourite thing was being told to pull down her panties.
And doing it,
Ever
So
Slowly.
The moment she fulfilled her instruction, when she finally stepped out of her fallen panties, felt like stepping into another world. As if a subtle shift had occurred, and she was entering a realm where new and naughty rules applied.
She rose proudly upright, allowing herself to be admired. The smooth bump of her shaved mound. The adorable curves of her bared bottom. The tiny alluring furrow of her cleft. Nothing hidden any more.
It excited her to feel the warm focused gaze of her would-be spanker lingering on her nakedness.
Before she boldly demanded:
"Now, you too."
More Naughty Recent Posts
Previous issue (in case you missed it)
The Two Yearnings
Anyone who's been spanked will recognise the feeling. The moment when you sense something other than the hot sting that radiates across your cheeks. It might begin with the cool tickle of air between your legs. As you squirm, and your thighs drift apart, exposing every detail of your most intimate places, you realise you’re not just in the perfect posit…
Until Next Time
A huge thank you to all those who add comments and share the posts they've enjoyed. Your appreciation helps we content creators see what's resonating, and encourages us to keep writing. You’re the best.
And if this post has fired your desire to anonymously ask a question of your own, you’re very welcome to do so here.
play safe, and stay curious!
If you had to list your favorite erotic artists, what it would be?
What is the name of the graphic novel in the picture? Google Lens could not find it.