The Spaces Between The Spanks

Why a blend of stimulation and calm creates the best kinky experiences

We are psychologically attuned to appreciate just the right balance of stimulation and silence. There’s a certain tempo of rain pattering that sounds delightful. Too slow and it becomes an annoying monotonous drip, too fast and it’s a torrential overwhelming rush of white noise.

Likewise the joy of a spanking is not just experienced during the hot startling sting of every impact, but within the subtle spaces between every smack as well.

Experienced spankers know such pauses are as important as the impacts. Too many whacks in rapid succession can easily overwhelm the recipient. Rather than experiencing a subtle patter of sensations, unceasing impacts feel like a sudden deluge, with the continuous smacks merging into an intensely painful throb. Yet this undesirable assault can be avoided by simply adding a momentary delay, so each whack is felt as a new and shocking surprise, each making the mind and body tingle.

When spankings are filmed for titillation, they’re often depicted as fast and relentless. The sorry recipient is bent over, smacked hard, and sent away rubbing their bottom — all in the space of 5 busy minutes. But in reality, when we play with our partners our spankings tend to be much slower. Rather than a single unbroken whacking, we can stop smacking for a few moments, a few minutes, or even take much longer breaks.

So in this post I’m going to make the case for going much much slower, and provide some ideas for how to fill the spaces between the spanks.

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Ideas for Short Respites

Short respites are momentary pauses within a spanking, lasting a few seconds, or as long as a minute. Short pauses preserve the mood and energy of a scene, the recipient remains in the spanking position, so the smacks can be quickly resumed, paused, and started again — often without notice, so the impacts come as a surprise again. Here’s six of the best.

1 Silence

The very simplest thing to do between delivering spanks is absolutely nothing at all. Stop smacking, and let the echos of the preceding whacks resonate in the recipient’s mind and body. Employed properly, silence can be very erotic, not to mention embarrassing, especially if the bottom isn’t permitted to speak without first being spoken to.

The spanker might place what they’re using to spank against the recipient’s warm stinging cheek, and wait for between 10 or 20 seconds. Enough time for them to appreciate the contrast between their hot vulnerable flesh and the cold impassive implement. If it’s lifted high and returns to smack on exactly the same spot, the recipient will spend their short respite anticipating the next searing smack. Their attention will be focused on a sensitised region of their bottom, as they now know exactly where the next whack will land.

Longer periods of silence and apparent absences of activity give the recipient time to wonder if the spanking might be over, or whether this is only the calm before the storm and it’s about to get harder. Silence lets a flurry of questions materialise inside their minds, which they’ll never be able to ask.

Silence should feel as if time has stood still, for both partners. It’s a precious opportunity to be present in the moment, and let the information from all the senses sink in. It enables us to appreciate that more is happening than just pink marks appearing on a bottom. There are all kinds of sights and sounds and scents. Spankers should set themselves the challenge of noticing something new before time suddenly resumes with a thrilling smack.

2 Words

The spanker might decide to alternate between silence and speaking. Scolding is a very popular spice to sprinkle into a spanking, where they can make the recipient’s mind tingle with admonitions like: “You’ve been so naughty” or “You deserve such a sore bottom”. They might even foreshadow what will happen after their spanking, like reminding them they’ll be spending the rest of the day without any panties on.

Talking is better if it’s interactive rather than one-way. It establishes a rhythm, providing moments of respite when the spankee can catch their breath and speak. A two-way dialogue makes the recipient an active participant, keeping them engaged and mentally alert, rather than just zoning out and becoming a passive target of the smacks.

A couple might establish their own call-and-response dynamic. He might say: “You’re such a naughty girl”, which might prompt a reply like “Harder please, Daddy”, or “I’ve been so naughty”.

The best questions make the spankee blush, by making them feel naughty or little, like they’re being forced to reveal deeply held secrets. “Does punishment excite you?”, “Is this what you fantasise about?”. Even if they deny it, inside you know they’ll be thinking about the truth.

How the recipient responds helps shape how the scene develops. They might choose to hold their tongue, or answer back in an indignantly bratty tone, or accept their spanking gratefully. Bratty backchat might prompt harder smacks, whilst more acquiescent behaviour might be rewarded by the intensity dropping. Dialogue provides opportunities for improvisation, and keeps things interesting.

3 Transient Touches

Even just a ten second pause is long enough for a spanker to pinch the recipient’s nipples, or stroke her slit or grasp his penis, or circle a fingertip around a bottom hole. These fleeting touches are deliberately quick, over almost as soon as they are felt, leaving the recipient wishing they had lingered longer.

Or the spanker might use their non-spanking hand to grasp a handful of their hair, and give it a firm authoritative tug. Not too hard, just enough to remind them who’s in charge.

Such sensual touches provide new sensations, something other than the thuddy whacks or stinging smacks of a spanking. All these momentary sensations will combine like separate musical voices, blending together with the baseline of the spanking to produce delicious harmonies.

4 Rubs and Caresses

Sometimes the spanker might decide to pause and impart a longer touch. This might be a compassionate rubbing of their poor sore bottom, or a massage of their thighs or shoulders. Or it could be more deliberately sensual, like reaching beneath her to cup and caress her breasts, or a placing a hand between her legs to cup her slit and hold her tight.

Alternatively, the recipient could be instructed to rub and caress themselves. It can be very embarrassing - and erotic - to have to stand in front of a disciplinarian completely exposed because they’re using both hands to rub their sore bottom.

Caresses are great because they change the energy of a spanking, punctuating bursts of soreness with a lull of a soothing calmness. Cooling lotions can literally take some of the heat out of a scene. But only temporarily, as once the rubbing ends the spanking must begin again.

5 Intimate Inspections

One of my favourite ways to spank is with her legs spread wide apart. Because when she’s exposed, I know she’s remembering all the messages she’s ever been taught about proper behaviour and decorum. To always keep her legs closed, to take great care not to flash her panties, and never ever let anyone glimpse what lies between her legs.

During a pause I might pause and exacerbate her embarrassment by using both hands to splay her cheeks apart, exposing her bottom hole and her wet little slit, so I can see just how aroused she’s getting.

You might playfully scold your partner for their unavoidable excitement, or decide to use this break in play to inspect her vulva, or his genitals, before moving on to inspect their bottom too. And if you want to be thorough, have the inspectee hold themselves open, so they can feel the heat of their own cheeks glow in their palms.

The intention of inspections is to examine visually, with minimal touching, and leave the subject feeling seen and yearning for more. An inspection draws attention to what you both knew anyway, that a good hard spanking is a real turn-on.

6 Masturbating

If she’s been a good girl, it would be cruel indeed if I didn’t occasionally pause my smacking to stroke her wet puffy slit. If she’s been a very good girl I might slip one hand between her legs and grasp her swollen lips tight, and let her rock and squirm against my fingers as I smack her bottom hard.

Or maybe, if I’ve been using a hairbrush, I might slide its handle between her legs. I can fill and stretch her, moving it in and out, so I can watch her wetness glisten on the handle, and admire how it makes her cute little bottom hole wrinkle and wink.

I’ll establish a rhythm, first she will be spanked, and then she will be wanked. A dozen spanks, then she’ll be stretched or stroked, and then — after her excitement has escalated a little more — her spanking will resume again.

If I decide she should play a more active role in her own pleasuring, I’ll tell her to straddle my thigh, and grind against it as I spank. Or I’ll tell her to put her own hand between her legs, and make her demonstrate how she masturbates when I’m not around. 

I’ll continue to spank as she rubs, pausing regularly to watch the show. I will have warned her sternly not to come. I want to keep her flame of desire burning bright, right to the end, because her neediness only makes her yearn for my strictness more.

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Ideas for Longer Interludes

So far we’ve considered short pauses, brief enough to keep the spankee in place, and leave them guessing when the spanking will resume. But there’s nothing stopping you from taking a much longer break, and these allow more varied intermissions. Here’s six more of the best.

1 Fetching

The major benefit of owning a large collection of spanking implements is the opportunity to vary the feeling and intensity of impacts. Such a collection can also be put to good use by instructing the recipient to put back whatever has just been applied to their bottom, and to return with a specific implement, or instruct them to choose a new implement for themselves. Some choices will be commended, others might earn a scolding: “This isn’t anywhere near stingy enough, let me show you… now go back and choose another, young lady.”

It doesn’t even need to be a spanking implement they’re sent to fetch, it could be something from your bedroom toybox. They might return with a dildo, some nipple clamps, or a butt plug — and then you’ll know what they need most.

2 Ice Cream

What if instead of being sent to fetch something erotic they were sent to fetch some ice cream? Wouldn’t that be so nice, to happily return with a bowl of something sweet and yummy?

Then you could tell them to lie on their front, so the bowl could be placed in the little gap between their thighs. Imagine: the cold porcelain pressed against their burning bum, whilst they’re teasingly spoon-fed something sweet and yummy.

“You’re so hot and excited you’re melting the ice-cream, naughty”, their spanker might say, as they dip their finger into the white sticky cream, before dabbing it around their partner’s expectant lips. “Does this remind you of anything? You have such a filthy mind.”

And then, when the ice cream is finally all licked clean, you’ll have to warm their numb little bum up again.

3 Ice Cubes

If there’s no ice-cream in your fridge, tell them to fetch some ice cubes. They can carry them back wrapped in their own discarded underwear to slow their melting and avoid numb fingers. When they return, tell them they’re getting much too aroused, and someone ought to cool them down. Rub the ice across their pubic mound, circle their nipples, and all around their intimate places.

The frigid touch of ice is diametrically opposite to the sensual touch of a lover. The warmth of bodyheat makes erogenous zones flush pink, whereas ice chills, numbing the skin, dulling feeling and stealing its colour. And few parts of the body are hotter than a well-whacked bottom.

Trace the impromptu ice pack across their hot spanked cheeks, until the fiery glow is numbed — and then, resume their spanking. Reignite their fire, so by the time you’ve finished, their bottom is burning even hotter. Alternate between spanking and numbing, between fire and ice.

4 Writing

Once a bottom is hot and sore it can be very erotic to have to sit on it, especially on a hard unforgiving chair, and be given an assignment to write. Writing lines is one obvious possibility, where the naughty pupil squirms on her bare bum as she’s obliged to repeatedly write something extremely filthy. Just see how her handwriting deteriorates, initially elegant and eager to impress, but increasingly erratic as her slit begins to throb.

Alternatively you can set your pupil a creative writing task, like “What I fantasised about the last time I masturbated” or “What sitting on a spanked bottom feels like”, or “The last time I soaked my panties in public”, or whatever else you can think of - the filthier the better, obviously.

Another twist is to stick a dildo on their seat, so they sit not just on a sore bum, but with an intrusion deep inside one of their holes. As they write, you want to them to be conscious that their spanking is merely paused, not concluded. Perhaps you’ll read what they’ve written as you resume their spanking, following up each naughty sentence with a well-deserved smack.

5 Waiting then Rubbing

Sending a spankee to stand in the corner with their bright pink cheeks on display is a classic spanking interlude. Facing the wall reduces visual distractions, allowing them to properly focus on the sensations radiating from their freshly smacked bottom.

At first, it’s best they’re told not to rub. Have them fold their arms behind their back, or place them on their head to remove that temptation. After all, this is simply an intermission, their spanking will resume when you call them back from the corner. They shouldn’t be rubbing away the gift you’ve given them.

The next time you send to the corner, perhaps you will permit some rubbing, or even massage in some soothing creams, after you’ve inspected their emerging bottom marks, of course.

Because of shared and proximate nerves, the act of rubbing a spanked bum increases the sensitivity of the genital area too, which is why rubbing can feel so satisfying. In effect, a prolonged bottom rubbing can become a very slow kind of masturbation, teasing and arousing, but with sensations just too tantalisingly weak to prompt an orgasm. But it can be fun to watch, and see them try.

6 Thanking

As a spanking draws to a close, the thoughts of good girls and boys will turn to how to properly express their gratitude for the smacked bottom they’ve been given. So this final suggestion is to use the pause to allow them to dutifully express their earnest thanks for the discipline they’ve received.

Thanks might be given through kissing, licking, sucking, stroking — or whatever else you’re into. Just be sure they don’t go too far or too fast, remind them this is merely a pause in proceedings, and you still haven’t finished properly spanking them yet.

“Are you trying to make me come? You naughty girl! Time to put you back across my knee…”

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Why Pauses Matter

Our minds have a limited bandwidth for sensations, regardless of which senses supply them. This has implications for kinky play, because whenever someone becomes too overloaded they stop being able to rationalise pain, which in turn prevents them from entering the meditative sanctuary of subspace. When a kinky experience becomes overwhelming it ceases to be enjoyable.

Great kinky experiences feel immersive, they leave us feeling floaty and content, and to get into the blissful state of flow we need time to process what we feel. Pauses allow us to make sense of the complex incoming barrage of sensations — and the underlying reason why comes from a fundamental principle of how our bodies actually work.

We are not machines with copper wires transmitting constant currents, our biochemical nervous systems are built for cycles of stimulation and rest. That’s why any sensation felt for too long or too intensely feels uncomfortable. Respites allow essential neurotransmitters and natural painkillers like endorphins to be replenished. Every pause is an opportunity for what we sense to be perceived.

You know when you tell your partner they’re going to be getting a “good” spanking? I like to think “good” is a reference to the sweet spot of feeling, a promise they’ll be able taste every tingle, and savour every sensation.

All experiences are more satisfying when our minds have time to properly appreciate them. Regardless of whether you’re giving or receiving, you can have an awful lot of fun in the spaces between the spanks.

— spankingtheatre 2024